Once upon a time
I’ve grown up hearing one, once upon a time after another. I’ve watched the prince sweep a princess off her feet and yet never, not once did I see myself in any of these stories. So here is the one, the tale, the intricately woven, yet simply real truth. The one I wish I’d been read or listened to when I was, well I am asking the very important question: what is love?
Once upon a time there lived a little girl. She grew up in a house full of warmth, of happiness, acceptance, and most importantly love. She grew up and learned how to read, to have friendships, to be a good human. This little girl had a big sister. A sister who sat her down and told her she was bisexual. The little girl sat there and listened, and asked one question: how did you know? How do you know what it possibly means when assigning yourself to a label, a definition, a social construct that makes society a little easier for the people that it shouldn’t affect.
The little girl grew and grew, experienced life at it's fullest and explored what a relationship meant. What a platonic versus romantic relationship meant, what saying yes out loud meant, but in your heart knowing it was wrong. She learned what if felt like to not be at home in her own body and to live a lie day after day. The little girl felt isolated and claustrophobic. She felt like she was drowning from the knowledge that she knew what was true, but so deeply wanted what wasn’t to be right. Then one day this little girl decided to face her mountain. She decided to take one step after another and face her truth. She decided to take a leap of faith in the hope someone would not only love her in all her damaged glory, but she could in-turn love them in theirs. This little girl, who wasn’t quite so little anymore started to answer the question that she once asked her big sister: how did you know you liked girls? And as complicated as the answer is, in all reality it just is. It’s a feeling, one of content, of whimsy, and magnetism, free from stress and anxiety. It’s feeling at home in yourself, proud of who you are. It’s feeling like you can breathe, like your time is not being wasted. It’s knowing you always have someone to dance to the setting sun with, it’s knowing you’re not so alone, it’s knowing you are you.
Once upon a time this story was written in a million variations, each with a different little girl and different path. Once upon a time this story had more certainty, maybe clarity, maybe fear, and maybe just maybe somewhere out there this story hasn’t been told.
Once upon a time a little girl sat pondering all the complexities of life. Such as: how to build a fairy house, what to wear, what sport to play, what thing to draw, what hike to choose, what road to travel, what journey to take. She sat there unsure of her next step, and guess what? That’s okay. Because one day, one day she will love and be loved in all of her beautiful, broken, damaged, glory.
