My biggest fear…

My biggest fear is that I won’t feel

You aren’t the problem. No, as a matter of fact you are perfect. 

The look, the act, the part, everything. 

Filling my world with stars I couldn’t possibly ask for more. 

For the sun and the moon, 

no all I ask is you let me swim to shore.

You see I have this little problem. 

I drown in the possibility of what could be. 

I get caught up in the technicality.

We should be perfect, I mean we look alright.

Your hair, your face, your eyes, it all. Please god please, just let me fall.

I can’t because whatever I do I am haunted. 

That’s what seems to be our problem. 

I don’t just mean you and me. I mean everyone. 

For you see, everybody seems to have somebody that they can’t just let go of.

It’s a fictitious past, maybe even your last class. 

But you can’t graduate. 

You are stuck walking up and down the halls. 

Your grades aren’t right, you might have even given up the fight. 

But let me go. Please. You haunt me. 

We don’t work, so save yourself the hurt. Please stop. 

Your number’s blocked, I don’t even scroll on your socials. 

See I’m clean, but like any addiction it’s not that easy. 

You will forever tease me.

New date, new name, new person. 

I sit down at this ever expansive table, yet this isn’t my fable. 

Chairs swirl around the room, it is no longer a new opportunity. 

Why am I stuck here unable to move on? 

It doesn’t take you this long. 

I wish you gave me butterflies. 

I wish you could hold my hand, capture me in your gaze. 

But whatever anyone seems to do it just won’t break my haze. 

I tried I really did. 

I went out on a limb. 

I set a time, a place, yet this new face? 

I won’t take a lack of effort. If you wanted to you would. 

It’s not miscommunication, it’s cremation. 

And you buried that possibility. 

So yes, I will give you hostility. 

And at the end of the day, yes my biggest fear is that I won’t feel. 

But what is yours? 

Because if I could take a guess it’s that you won’t heal.