Dear Sweet Baby Girl

Dear sweet baby girl I love you loads. I’ve sent you this letter or so I’ve been told.

There’s been a lot of variations. Moments where it started more like: “to my future self”, “to my past self”, “to my present self”. But no matter what, every single iteration carries a theme. It’s to me.

No matter who I am, or who I have been, I was still just writing to me.

So this time instead of dear sweet baby girl I am so so sorry. I want to say dear sweet baby girl I am so so proud. You are incredible, you are a light and boy you don’t even know it. I know that pit all too well, I know what it’s like to fill your head and your heart with distraction because facing anxiety and reality and every terrifying mash-up of the two is just

too

much.

Sweet baby girl. Trust me I know. Because I am you and you are me. I promise we are not as different as you think.

I promise you we are brave, and kind, and confident, and enough. So even though you seem to be beating yourself up. Even though it seems safer to sit under big ol’ trees nestled in the roots, comfortable in the shade of proximity to something that can neither harm you, nor speak.

Sweet baby girl. Please stand up and believe me, please believe me you are not a bad person, you are not unkind.

You are thoughtful, and funny, and smart, and you hurt no one more than you hurt yourself.

But sweet baby girl, now don’t go apologizing, don’t go think you are the problem. Because you aren’t. Yes you can take accountability, but don’t drown in the weight of another’s conscience. Their burden is not your responsibility.

So keep your head up and your smile bright and don’t go letting people dim your light.